I wasn’t always the Confident Widow

There’s a version of me people see now.

The woman who speaks about resilience, who runs gatherings for widows and about practical planning and rebuilding with confidence.

But I wasn’t always the confident widow.

I married the love of my life and experienced the kind of partnership people write stories about.

I became a mum… three times over, all at once.

And then I became a widow, unexpectedly.

Confidence was not part of that season. Survival was.

What survival really looked like

At the beginning, survival was small.

It looked like:

• Sitting in hospital rooms with three premature babies

• Signing forms I didn’t fully understand

• Functioning on adrenaline and shock
• Taking life 10 minutes at a time

It looked like not thinking too far ahead because that felt impossible.
It looked like surviving the hour. Then the next one.

That was the first season.

But survival didn’t end when we left the hospital.

It just changed shape.

Now, it looks like:

• Doing school runs while remembering three separate schedules

• Packing lunchboxes and signing permission slips

• Showing up to every sports game

• Helping with homework after a full day, already running on empty

• Navigating my own grief while holding space for my children’s

It looks like holding it together on the outside while quietly carrying heartbreak inside.

This isn’t the kind of “confidence” we celebrate online.

Confidence wasn’t a personality trait

For a long time, I was simply getting through each day.

Taking life 10 minutes at a time.
But over time, something shifted.

I realised I couldn’t control what had happened.

But I could decide who I would become next.

That was the beginning of confidence.

Confidence, for me, wasn’t about being fearless.
It was about:

• Learning how to sit with grief without letting it define me

• Asking for support

• Creating structure when everything felt chaotic

• Protecting my values

• Redefining success on my own terms

Why I built Yellow Falcon

In the early days, I was overwhelmed by paperwork, decisions and “death admin.”

The practical weight of loss was heavier than I expected.

And I remember thinking:
Why isn’t there something that makes this clearer?
Why are widows expected to navigate this alone?

So I turned the spreadsheets and systems I built for myself into something structured.
Yellow Falcon wasn’t born from strategy.

It was built because someone had to create practical support for women navigating grief.
Because grief deserves more than pretty words.

It deserves clarity, structure and confidence.

If you’re here

If you’re a widow, love one, or simply want to plan ahead so your family is protected:
You don’t have to wait for crisis to have these conversations.

And if you are in crisis, you don’t have to figure it out alone.
I wasn’t always the confident widow.

I became her.
Slowly, imperfectly and intentionally.
And that’s what I now help other women do.