The week of school as a solo mum: managing big life moments when grief is part of the picture

There are certain life moments that carry extra weight as a grieving solo mum.

Starting school.
Milestones.
Firsts and lasts that happen at the same time.

For many families, the first week of school is a mix of excitement and nerves.
For families navigating grief, it can be that - and much more.

This is what the week of school looked like for us, and the things I put in place beforehand to support my kids (and myself) knowing that grief would be part of the experience too.

Preparation isn’t about control - it’s about care

In the lead-up to school, we focused less on “being ready” and more on building emotional safety.

In Term 4 last year, the kids participated in a wellbeing program to help them build skills around emotions, transitions and change. We had lots of open conversations - about what school might feel like, what they were excited about, and what they felt nervous about.

I also involved them wherever I could:

• choosing shoes
• planning lunches
• talking through routines

It was about helping them feel included and capable.

Putting support in place before the day arrived

One thing grief has taught me is this: you don’t wait until things feel hard to ask for support.

Before school started, I had a conversation with the teachers. I gave them a gentle heads-up about our family situation, how the kids might react, and how I might react too.

I also made sure I had support around me:

* family 

* and a psychologist appointment booked for the next day

Knowing I had professional support scheduled meant I didn’t have to “hold it together” indefinitely. I could just get through the day.

Big moments don’t need perfection - they need support

What this week reinforced for me is something I see again and again in grief:

Big life moments don’t need to be perfect.

They need to be supported.

Preparation isn’t about pressure, it’s about reducing overwhelm.

It’s about acknowledging that grief shows up in milestones, and planning with compassion rather than denial.

Whether it’s:

• starting school
• anniversaries
• birthdays
• holidays
• or any significant transition

You’re allowed to put support in place before it feels too hard. 

A final thought

Navigating grief means you learn how to live with more care and consideration.

Sometimes that looks like conversations, professional support or little rituals and routines that help you get through (for me, I wore my yellow dress to school on day one. The dress that makes me feel confident). 

If you’re navigating big life moments alongside grief, you don’t have to do it without support, or without a plan.