Why values matter more than goals (especially after loss)

At this time of year, we’re often encouraged to look forward.
To set goals.
To decide what we want to achieve.

But when you’ve been through loss, grief, or a significant life shift, traditional goal-setting can feel disconnected, or even overwhelming.

Because the truth is:
You may not be the same person you were before.
And the life you’re building now may require different priorities, boundaries, and measures of success.

That’s where values come in.

Values aren’t about productivity, they’re about alignment.

They help you recognise the moments when you feel:
- grounded
- fulfilled
- proud
- steady, even in uncertainty
They become an anchor when life feels noisy or unclear.

Why revisiting your values matters

Values aren’t fixed.
They evolve as life changes.

What mattered deeply to you before loss may still matter, but it may show up differently now.

New values may emerge.

Others may need to be redefined.

When you’re clear on your values, decision-making becomes gentler.

Instead of asking:
“What should I do?”

You begin asking:
“Does this align with what matters to me now?”

That shift alone can reduce mental load, guilt, and overwhelm.

Values as a guide... not a rulebook

Living in alignment with your values doesn’t mean life feels easy.

It means it feels true.

Values help you decide:
- what deserves your energy
- what can be released
- where boundaries are needed
- what no longer fits this version of your life

Research published in the Journal of Positive Psychology shows that people who live in alignment with their values experience significantly higher life satisfaction, particularly when they regularly revisit and realign them.

A gentle place to start

If you’re feeling disconnected, uncertain, or unsure how to move forward, start with your values, not your goals.

I’ve created a free Values Worksheet to help you:
1. identify what truly matters to you now
2. reflect on how those values show up in your life
3. make decisions that feel aligned, not pressured

There’s no rush.
No right answers.
Just space to reconnect with yourself.

You can download the worksheet via the link: https://www.yellowfalcon.com.au/values and return to it whenever you need grounding, clarity, or direction.

Sometimes the most powerful step forward is simply remembering who you are.