What I’m seeing in other countries: when financial support ends but grief doesn’t

One of the things I’ve been paying more attention to lately is how other countries support people after someone dies.

Not because I think any country has worked it all out. But the conversations happening overseas can tell us a lot about the gaps that still exist in how we think about grief, work and the financial reality of losing someone.

One of those conversations is happening in the UK right now.

Two widowed mothers, Caroline Booth and Holly O’Connor, have been speaking publicly about the UK’s Bereavement Support Payment and what happens when that financial support ends.

Their stories are different, but the question underneath them is one I think many widowed parents will understand.

How are you supposed to balance being there for your children with the financial pressure to keep working?

What happens after 18 months?

In the UK, eligible people whose partner dies can receive a Bereavement Support Payment. For those eligible for the higher rate, this currently includes a £3,500 initial payment followed by £350 a month for 18 months.

And then it stops.

The UK Government's position is that the payment was deliberately designed as short-term financial support rather than ongoing income replacement. In its February response to a petition calling for the payment to be increased and extended, the Government said longer-term financial support is available through other parts of the social security system.

I understand that government support has to have parameters. No payment can be designed around the individual timeline of every person's grief.

But I also think the 18-month mark raises an important question about what life actually looks like after loss.

Because while a payment might have an end date, the consequences of losing a partner don't.

 

Grief and financial pressure exist at the same time

When my husband died, I wasn't only grieving him. I was 29 years old and 17 weeks pregnant with our triplets.

There was the emotional reality of losing my husband, but there was also the practical and financial reality of suddenly facing a future that was supposed to have two parents in it.

Bills don't pause because you're grieving. Mortgages don't disappear. Children still need to be cared for. Work still needs to fit somewhere into a life that may look completely different from the one you had before.

This is one of the things I think gets missed when we talk about grief support.

We separate emotional support, financial support, childcare and returning to work as though they are different issues.

For the person living through it, they're all happening at once.

Returning to work isn't always a simple choice

This also connects closely with the conversations I've been having about grief in workplaces.

When a bereaved parent increases their hours or returns to work, we can look at that from the outside and assume they're ready.

But what does "ready" actually mean?

Someone may genuinely want to return. Work can provide purpose, routine, connection and familiarity at a time when so much else has changed.

Someone else may return because financially, there isn't another option.

And sometimes both things can be true at once.

That's why I think we need to be careful about treating returning to work as evidence that someone has moved through their grief. Employment decisions after loss are often wrapped up in childcare, finances, identity, capacity and the need to create some kind of stability again.

The UK conversation is getting attention

The petition calling for the UK's Bereavement Support Payment to be increased and extended beyond 18 months closed in July with 108,757 signatures, enough for it to be considered for debate in Parliament.

The Government has so far declined to make the requested change, saying Bereavement Support Payment is intended to help with the immediate costs and disruption following a death rather than replace income over the longer term.

There are reasonable questions for governments to consider around the purpose, duration and affordability of any social security payment.

But more than 100,000 people putting their names behind this issue tells me the broader conversation is worth paying attention to.

Not just in the UK.

There has already been change

There is another part of the UK system that I found interesting.

Bereavement Support Payment was originally restricted based on marital or civil-partnership status. The rules were changed in 2023 so that some cohabiting parents with dependent children could also become eligible. The Government's own explanation says that change followed court judgments finding the previous rules discriminated against children based on their parents' marital status.

I think that's an important example of why these conversations matter.

Families don't all look the same. Grief doesn't look the same. The financial consequences of losing a partner don't look the same either.

Systems designed to support people after death have to keep asking whether they reflect the families who actually need them.

What can we learn in Australia?

I'm not suggesting Australia should simply copy what another country does, and this isn't about arguing that one particular policy is the answer.

What interests me is the conversation underneath it.

What happens financially to a family when one parent dies? How does that affect the surviving parent's relationship with work? How long do we expect people to need additional support? And are our systems designed around what grief and life after loss actually look like?

These aren't only questions for governments.

They're questions for employers, HR teams, insurers, superannuation funds and anyone involved in supporting people after someone dies.

Because grief isn't only emotional.

It can change a person's family, finances, career, responsibilities and future in a matter of moments.
When I look at what's happening in other countries, that's the conversation I think is worth bringing back to Australia.

Are the systems we've built around bereavement actually designed for the reality of life after loss?

Sources and further reading

UK Parliament — Increase and extend Bereavement Support Payment
https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/752501

GOV.UK — Bereavement Support Payment: What you’ll get
https://www.gov.uk/bereavement-support-payment/what-youll-get

GOV.UK — Cohabiting couples to benefit from changes to bereavement benefit rules
https://www.gov.uk/government/news/cohabiting-couples-to-benefit-from-changes-to-bereavement-benefit-rules

Yorkshire Post — The Yorkshire widows fighting to change bereavement payments for parents
https://www.yorkshirepost.co.uk/news/people/the-yorkshire-widows-fighting-to-change-bereavement-payments-for-parents-6576994

Yorkshire Live — Coverage of Holly O’Connor’s campaign for better bereavement support
https://www.examinerlive.co.uk/news/local-news/huddersfield-widow-launches-fight-better-34486520